Saturday, June 30, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Longpang-ed a ride from Cheehan when he came to fetch Lydia after the fiesta ended. It was freaking exhausting but fortunately I had my precious burger, korkor and sexslave with me so it wasn`t boring at all. I really regretted longpang-ing the ride with them. I`d rather walked to to sunplaza all alone despite my leaden legs and let them guo their er ren shi jie. Seriously la, it was pure torture just sitting beside them in the taxi, watching them behaving all lovey dovey and whispering sweet nothings to each other. Makes me feel so goddamn extram, lovesick and envious of how close they are. But I`m ecstatic that Lydia found someone who loves her so unconditionally to the extend of fetching her from school practically everyday.
Weicong and Perry came to the carnival too and passed me the present. I adore them so much laaa. Sorry darlas that I never spend time with the both of you! I just bu she de pang seh my sister and leave her all alone. Plus we were damn overwhelmed with running to and fro promoting stuff. I`ll treasure the sotong always! The 2 of you are soooooooo sweet!
Saw Desmond at sunplaza going down the escalator to work while me and Lydia were going up. I pointed at him and went to Lydia, "Look, it`s Desmond." Then he gave me this retarded grin and said, "Bu shi la, shi ni de papa".
What an idiot. I can`t believe Lydia and I had a crush on him in sec 1.
Anyway, I`m such a guaii kia. I listened to my laogong`s words and let my bottom lip piercing close up like a good little girl. The hole in the inner most part of my bottom lip has swelled up to the size of a 5 cent coin in the shape of a crescent moon. So shittingly gao wei. He had better appreciate what I do for him.
I almost forgot to mention that I saw a little whore dressed in full uniform slut clothing today at our school. What a fucking disgace. She`s just a small kid la then dress until like that. It makes me so sad for the female gender.
My body aches all over,
and I`ve haven`t slept for a day already. I`m like screaming at anyone who questions me about the carnival today. Fucking annoying.
Sorry la. No mood no mood no mood no mood no mood no mood no mood no mood no mood no mood no mood no mood no mood. The sweltering heat and blazing sun this late morning and thoughout the whole afternoon didn`t help either. I think it fried my brain.
WHAT THE HELL, weather forecast said that there would be a downpour today. What absolute bullshit.
So now I`m going to have dinner, and after my meal, I`m going to fall dead asleep on my bed til the next morning, or afternoon.
No wait I have to wake up in the morning if I want to meet my dar. Crap, can`t sleep in tomorrow.
♥ 7:24:00 PM ♥
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
I love hacking off my own hair.
Just seeing a few strands fall from my head to the ground by my own 2 hands, is just so sadistically self satisfying.
I wish someone would give me permission to let me hack off their hair. I got a thing for hair these few days.
Especially when it gets clumpy, I find it adorable.
But I seriously need to stop chopping my hair off if I want it to grow to a length where I can strangle myself to death with it.
Why do people keep asking me whether Honey is my toy or pet? She will look like stuffed toy meh?
♥ 11:12:00 PM ♥
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Jeslyn`s ex is a fucker lorh. What the bloody fuck, how can he not treasue her? She`s so damn chio and tiongxim to him. Still give what lanjiao reasoning never give him enough time. Puii! Cheebye kia jiu shi cheebye kia la, no matter how good his excuse for breaking up with her is, the fact remains that he`s still a bastardised idiot. Aiya, I believe he`ll come to regret it one day. I hope her current stead treats her much much better than the previous one, she`s sooooo sweet towards others lorh. Guys are such bastardised idiots. Most of them, I mean.
Lydia really no horse run siial.. Make her stead come all the way from his house to our school in sembawang just to pass her a jacket and go back again. I`m not discriminating her, I`m just saying that she has alot of control over her boyfriend which I respect alot.
I have such a short attention span. I`m supposed to be searching for chinese newspaper articles for the reviwe thing but instead I`m flipping through the newspapers looking at shuaii singers. You can`t blame me. I`m after all a girl.
♥ 11:04:00 PM ♥
Monday, June 25, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Went back school today. During attire check in the morning, I NEVER KANA CAUGHT!! I`m so guaii la.
Was nodding off the whole day in school.
I hate lessons. They`re so boring. But still, I`m glad to be back. Missed my Lydia burger so much. Plus Leehao the sexslave and Yingjie korkor too.
So fun being piggybacked by the 2 of them and dragging them around.
I feel like buying something for Lydia and Cheehan de second month.
Even though Lydia keep pangsehhing me after school for her stead la. So bad lorh she, always make me feel like I`m playing gooseberry. Dian deng paos are not respected de ok.
I still got like a ton of homework I haven`t completed yet. And I have to take up a cca already or else that old, saggy hermaphrodite is bound to come after me again.
Ccas are a waste of bloody time. My time is very precious one lorh. I need precious time to spend with my laogong. I bet she makes everyone take up a cca because she wants to make us so busy until we got no time for our steads until like her, we have to die lonely.
I miss Vincent!!!!!!!
♥ 11:35:00 PM ♥
Sunday, June 24, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
FUCK. School reopens tmr! And I hardly even touched my homework.
It`s already 11.19pm now, and I don`t feel like doing it.
I just wanna slack..
Nevermind la, tomorrow morning chiong finish.
I GOT A NEW BAOBEII!!! My zuii ai.
Just bought the n76, when I first laid eyes on it, I was already mesmerized.
Eric korkor and his friend got da qiang by a group of guys yesterday.
He says he want revenge.
And what the hell is a katana arhs?
♥ 11:18:00 PM ♥
Friday, June 22, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Dui bu qi my beloved.
I`ve never seen my stead cry before. Until today la.
I`m sorry I`m sorry. I`ll try to be a better girlfriend and stop talking nonsense.
♥ 10:00:00 PM ♥
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Wahahaha! Baby is gay.
He this afternoon put Kok Kok`s photo as his handphone background. He`s so goddamn cute la.
I wanna watch Spider Lilies. You know that R21 movie with lesbian content? I`ve seen the first part of the movie and it looks sooooo interesting. I also want a N76!! So pretty.
♥ 12:53:00 AM ♥
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Went out just now again.
Before meeting Jessie, Jasrel and Kianru, I was just NORMALLY walking towards amk mrt station la. There was this group of ahbengs who passed me, looked at me and one guy said, "eh, kuai dian qu gen ta na dian hua hao ma leh". His friend went, "bu yao la, ahlian lai de leh". I AM NOT AHLIAN LARH WTF. Pissed me off big time.
Once reached marina, go arcade play the parapara thing. Play until like so retarded lorh. Then we went to the field sit down watch sunset. After that, went to have our dinner and kept playing with our food. Had so much fun. I love them to bits laaaa.
Spent most of my money today. Going pock liao.
Laogong just now scold me for no reason. I almost cried in northpoint.
Look look!!
My Eric korkor and his doggy SIBEI KEAIIIIII~!!
♥ 11:16:00 PM ♥
Monday, June 18, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Met laogong this morning. Sian lorh only slept for 1 hour plus in the last 24 hours.
Then after he went work le, Jessie Darling and I went to eat lunch at mac. All those close to me de should know that I was being brought up pampered and spoilt ma, everything is my people help me do one. So Jessie ask me to carry the tray then I just carry it lorh. Unsteadily towards the table. I then plonked it down on the table and one of the drinks toppled over on ME and all over the floor.
I jumped up and scream "FUCK". Everyone in mac at that time turned silent and stared at me. After they found out that it was only a clumsy, retarded girl that had spilled her drink, the buzz started up again and they went back to what they were doing beforehand.
Seriously speaking, I`m not one to get embarrassed at all. I`m completely don`t care what others think of me when I`m outside. I`m not self conscious.
All it matters is that I have fun!
And today had so much fun with Jessie. We went around finding 2 presents for Lydia. Kept running up and down causeway point to compare the cuteness of different soft toys until I got blisters le.
Lydia is so lucky I love her so goddamn much.
We settled on a sotong and a huge doggy. The sotong so cute lorh! Me and Jessie like bu she de part with it.
Look! So adorable! Jessie`s hand is on the left, mine is on the right. I really need to go out more often in the daytime.. I`m turning so white.
♥ 7:18:00 PM ♥
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
I just went through your smses you sent me that time when I was still using my N72. That`s when I realised, I fell in love with an illusion.
You were never real. All the things you said about how you would never make me cry, never let me get hurt, how that if each couple does their part everyday will be like valentine`s day. ALL THE STUPID EMPTY PROMISES about always having time for me. It was all just a big, fat, fucked up lie. Including the thing you said that it`s time to take your relationships seriously and the past was the past.
You sweet talked me into loving a part of you that isn`t real, a person you CONJURED up. I was never really in love with the real you.
BUT HOW THE HELL DID YOU MAKE YOURSELF SEEM SO GENUINE? You were everything I dream of that I fell for it hook and line. I believe that you really did the chinese compo for me, I really do. And it confuses me to no end. Why in the world would you go through all that trouble if you weren`t serious in the beggining?
You`re nothing but an unbelivably beautiful illusion. The Malcolm that I was so deeply in love with had never existed. I fell in love with non existing perfection. I should have known that you were too good to be true, but being the lovesick IDIOT that i was, I chose to ignore the warning signs, I chose to ignore my intuition.
Because by that time, I had already pledged my heart to you.
♥ 4:32:00 AM ♥
Sunday, June 17, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
I`ve just persuaded my father to buy a punching bag from Mustafa.
This is so stupid. I`ve just proved that I can have everything practical I want in my life but freedom. I will give anything up for freedom. Vincent is an exception la.
ALL I FUCKING DO EVERYDAY IS STAY AT HOME AND FUCKING ROT TO A BLOODY MESS.
It`s not surprising if I ki siao one day and jump down from my rooftop.
♥ 11:57:00 PM ♥
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
There.
It took me 30 minutes to etch the words into my skin.
Had to keep cutting into the same cuts to make the flesh open up bigger.
Isn`t very prominent on photo though.. The lighting too bright liao.
♥ 7:21:00 PM ♥
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
I can`t fucking take my father`s bullshit any longer.
I bloody crave for freedom.
So much that I carved a bloody "Freedom" on the side of my left wrist.
Took a photo of it. But lazy to rummage around the drawers for the USB cable to transfer.
Aiya, I`ll upload it next time la.
♥ 4:39:00 AM ♥
Saturday, June 16, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Baby, I`m so sorry I used vulgarities on you. I just can`t tolerate the way my father judged you in one glance and straightaway thought that all you`re going for is sex.
I`m angry with my father, not you.
And I really appreciate how you have since 3.30am just been sitting there outside my house waiting for the sky to break and the sun to come out because that is when I can only leave the house. It isn`t necessary.
You`ve done so much for me already can`t you see? You`ve freed me from misery from that stupid useless ex of mine who was never there for me when I needed him the most, you accompanied me on those dark and lonely nights when I couldn`t get to sleep. I love you, I love you, I love you, no one`s ever going to change that. So you`re working full time and I can`t get to see you often, BIG DEAL. I will still survive what. And I promise you my love won`t fade because of that.
I really hate myself for being such a useless stead. I can`t even get you to go back home now.
♥ 5:30:00 AM ♥
Friday, June 15, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Went Chin Huat just now. Actually supposed to go with Zhan Han and Randy de budden Zhan Han last minute had to do some admin stuff and Randy being the gay one didn`t want to come unless Zhan Han came.
So our parents came and it turned into a little family reunion.
After eating, we went to bowling and then played pool. I BROKE A THUMBNAIL WHEN I WAS BOWLING. But I earned $25 after I won my father in billard so at least all is not lost.
Ooooooh~!! Andyang Korkor just came back from Shanghai! That idiot say no need buy him his belated birthday present lerh, my best gift is to be his stead.
.......... wth does he think I`m stupid? Once bitten, twice shy. A leopard never changes its spots.
This kind of thing should not be taken as a joke de lorh.
Weicong and Perry are big bullies.
Shame on them. Bullying an innocent, sweet, angelic girl like me.
I never even do anything to them la! I treat them so good lorhs. They`ll both be condemned to hell if they don`t do anything to make it up to me.
THAT STUPID PERRY STILL CAN CURSE ME TO BECOME FAT. So mean! I`m going to make them grovel before I completely forgive them. HAHA.
WAHAHAHAS. Chunsiang de current stead looks like a FUCKING MAID!! Even though I hate his guts horh, I think he could have done so much more better than a freaking maid-look-alike la.
♥ 10:05:00 PM ♥
Thursday, June 14, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
The sleep deprived calling the kettle exhausted.
Ok la so I do need to reverse my sleep pattern. 8am to 1pm of sleep isn`t enough in 24 hours. I will die at this rate. But I`ve gotten so used to sleeping so little. It`s esoteric.
This is madness. Me and my younger brother are dancing stupidly away to the digimon 1 theme song. We`re flailing around like a couple of mental patients high on ecstasy.
Those female artistes on mtv are making me feel so zibeii lorh.
With their flawless complexion, taut abs, unimaginably silky hair, killer dance moves even though their high heels are sky high.
I think mtv`s majorly to blame for all the victims suffering from anorexia nervosa.
I`ve found out that MALAYSIA GUYS ARE SO MUCH MORE CUTER AND SHUAIIER THAN SINGAPORE DE LORHH..!!!
What a fucking pity I wasn`t borned in Malaysia.
Somemore the quantity of shuaiisters in Singapore is so shittingly small! Whereas Malaysia has so many.
Life is just so goddamn unjust.
CRAP, school reopens the week after next week.
And I haven`t even touched my homework yet.
I feel that my english is really degressing. I should really stop direct translating chinese to english.
When it comes to love, I love to do it my way.
So if you find this physically demanding, it`s no surprise I`m the last one standing.
♥ 3:41:00 PM ♥
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
If there were no words no way to speak, I would still hear you. If there were no tears, no way to feel inside, I`ll still feel for you.
Even if the sun refused to shine,
Even if romance ran out of rhyme.
You would still have my heart until the end of time.
♥ 11:28:00 PM ♥
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Awww.. Weicong Sotong`s so sweet. He`s helping his hairstylist find a model to style her hair for Kimage and he keeps trying to persuade me to model for them.
I`m so flattered you think so highly of me Sotong. But I`ll only throw Kimage`s face la.
Whatsmore it`s at Kimage headquarters which is in Funan centre.
For some biased reason, I hate Funan.
♥ 3:26:00 PM ♥
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
I MUST HAVE THAT~!!
I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want!!
I just fell in love with the eighth world wonder and I find it a need that me alone posesses him. He`s so adorable beyond words...!!! I was swooning away when he activated his webcam in our msn conversation just to entertain me.
Can I have him for a belated birthday present? Pretty please?
HE`S A FREAKING NECESSITY!
♥ 4:13:00 AM ♥
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
I just visited Andre`s blog. His latest post reminded me that I should also start on my one whole big stack of holiday homework too.
Miss Howe said that when we return back to school from the holidays, first thing in the morning during assembly she will check all of the sec 3s holiday assignments. Those that have not completed all the homework, will be forced to sit in the parade square to finish it up.
Under the blazing sun. She just wants us to die from heatstroke and then later push the blame to the deceased pupil.
It`s 11 June already. Shit, Lydia and I still haven`t ask all those people on the list whether they want to go redhouse with us or not. Seriously arh, I found out that we are mostly all talk but no action de.
Ohyeahh.. I proposed to Lydia today. She said yes. We`re going to get married!! And go to the Maldives for our honeymoon in a few years or so.
♥ 12:40:00 AM ♥
Sunday, June 10, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
Watching the first ever episode of digimon on youtube reminded me of my wonderful childhood.
I was like one of the boys that time, I played soccer with my brothers and cousins, catched spiders and tadpoles in fields with male classmates, fought with boys, pestered my parents to buy all those electronic gadgets like tamagotchi and digimon virtual pets.
When someone gave me a Barbie doll as a present, I would give all the right squeals and forced delight. Then, in my room all alone, I would proceed to pluck out all the limbs of Barbie`s.
Now that I think about it, I realised I`ve come so far.
Last time you would never catch me wearing anything revealing. I found it embarrassing to even wear sleeveless shirts. All i worn were oversized shirts and three quarter pants.
Now, just open up my wardrobe and all kinds of skimpy clothing will come tumbling out, there`s hardly anything decent to wear except for the clothes i wear at night.
I should thank my lucky stars after all the time I`ve spend with boys in the past I didn`t really turn into one of them.
If I was unfortunate, I would be a butch now.
♥ 4:31:00 PM ♥
Saturday, June 09, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
I really envy all those american books that keep going on and on about the apartments they share with their room mates and how everytime they come back home they could have like a mini party with their closest friends and blah blah blah.
Freedom I can`t even imagine.
I can`t wait until me and Lydia turn 18 or something and rent a studio apartment of our own.
Who`s better to live with than Lydia, my partner in crime. Just think of all the mischief we`ll be able to get into.
And all the weird concoctions we`ll cook up for our meals. Erm... YEEUCH.. actually not such a good thing.
I want independence.
♥ 1:50:00 PM ♥
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
I`ve just had a few injections and a wound sewn up. The one medical thing I hate the most is having an injection, multiply it by 4 times and top it off with stitches, baby you`ve got yourself a monster on the loose.
Don`t even try to be a smart ass and jokingly agitate me unless you want me to start bitching til kingdom come.
♥ 12:17:00 PM ♥
Monday, June 04, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
I am hopeless.
I can`t do anything right.
My life`s a mother fucking catastrophe.
♥ 8:55:00 PM ♥
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
You know your life`s officially over when you start playing with your tamagotchi day and night.
Fuck, I`m hooked already.
I`m starting to believe that I`m way too much for you,
all that talk but it seems that you can`t come through.
♥ 2:11:00 AM ♥
Saturday, June 02, 2007
♥ but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away ♥
I have abso-fucking-lutely no life.
Sleeping in the day and waking up at night just to stone in front of the computer isn`t exactly my ideal way to spend the holidays.
The 20 cuts on my left wrist are so damn mesmerizing. You just can`t seem to tear your eyes off it. It was much more gruesome when the dried blood was still clinging on. I accidentally dripped some of the blood on my bra in the morning. Damn.
It`s seems so strange that sometimes fate
can appear to be so real
and yet turn out to be a fantasy.
♥ 12:52:00 AM ♥
