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Monday, December 01, 2008
but when the rhapsody plays; it takes my breath away

I went to church today with my family. WOAH. If I`m not wrong, I think it`s called The Grace Assembly. It has been 2 years since I`ve stepped into a church, can you guess what or who managed to persuade me to go?

No, my father did not bribe me with money or any kind of materialistic goods.

No, it`s not because Jesus came to me in a dream and said that if I didn`t go to church I would be condemned to hell.

No, my father did not threaten me in any way.

No, it`s not because I had a sudden revelation that going to church is a holy and spiritual thing to do.

No, it`s not because Jiro Wang was there too.

I have been brought up in a staunch christian family where we faithfully went to church every sunday. I knew the bible like the back of my hand. I could recite every bible story without missing out a single detail because the sunday school which I went to kept instilling these stories and values in us. That was when I was a kid.

Back then, my maternal grandmother was the one I loved most and the one I held dearest to my heart. Every single night, I would pray that she would one day become a christian so that she could be saved from the pits of hell and that I could go to heaven with her. I am not kidding when I said every single night.

I lost my faith gradually as I started to grow up and became more aware of the world. When I quarrelled with my parents, my parents would use God`s words against me. Like they would scream, "God said in the 10 commandments to honour your father and mother. You call yourself a christian?"

Eventually, I just dropped the christian faith. So that they cannot use it against me in arguments anymore.

What added fuel to flame was science. The Charles Darwin theory. If humans were evolved from apes, does this mean that Adam and Eve were once apes? And science had substantial proof, the findings of cavemens` remains and drawings in parts of the earth. And what about dinosaurs? It is undeniable that dinosaurs once walked this earth as so many of their bones have been found. But the bible did not mention anything about dinosaurs, and even if there were dinosaurs, how come Adam and Eve and other bible characters were not squashed to death by them?

So when people asked me what religion am I, I`ll reply that I`m a free-thinker.

I went to church today because my maternal grandmama was going to get baptised and she asked me to go along with her. I obliged because she`s quite old already, I still love her as much as last time and there is still a small part of me that believes God exists. She was really happy that me and my 2 brothers went along with her so it was worth it even though it was a hokkien service and was ultra boring.

My youngest uncle who has a little mental disability also got baptised with her. My grandfather tagged along with us too although he did not believe in christianity, he just went to support his son and wife. That was so sweet. However my grandfather slipped away with us in the middle of the service after the baptisms were over to a nearby kopitiam to "lim kopi". He ended up telling my older brother that he wanted a coke but my older brother ordered a 100-plus for him.

Will post the photos another day because it`s all in my bro`s camera and he has yet to upload them. And for now, I`m going online shopping. Toodles!

1:15:00 AM


2nd May 1992

I love my doggy, Honey. She means the entire world to me.

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